Realisation on Growth

I'm still waiting for my visa to arrive. From Australia they say up to 4 weeks!
In the meantime, I'm preparing myself by doing some inner work. I found really good book from Mytrae Meliana about the preparation for the trip to John of God. It is very easy and not a big book to read. It is to the point and with great questions to review your life and set your mind on the reasons you are doing this pilgrimage.
I can feel the work is already in progress on me. Like a purgatory, I've been going through some emotional hardship regarding my family overseas. Old wounds opened up, and the feeling of helplessness to do anything is very painful for me.
I see a lot of things that I kinda overgrown but still wearing it, since I don't have and see a better option.
I see a lot of ego in me, from the things that drive me to act, say things certain way.. the way that I can see as a separate from someone who I really am.
I've been like in a cinema in a last week or so watching my life and my role in it.

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